How transitions can become your friend

Transitions are the psychological and emotional shifts that accompany the changes that happen in our lives.

Because they are associated with change, transitions can seem difficult to handle. But they become easier to deal with when we realise that our whole life has been a series of transitions.

Our first transition happened on the day that we were born. Our mother’s contractions formed the ‘Separation’ phase that prepared us for the changes that were coming. Then, during the birth, we crossed the Threshold into a strange new world. And in the first few days of life, we  then Consolidated our transition by learning the incredible new skills of breathing, hearing, seeing, and eating. Most incredible of all, we did all of this without consciously controlling any of it.

Then our lives became a whole series of changes and transitions: learning to feed ourselves; learning to dress ourselves; going to school; riding a bike; learning to drive; getting our first job. All these things seemed difficult at first. But as we succeeded in each change and transition so we gained new clarity about what mattered most to us and new skills and confidence for what we could achieve in the world and.

This time of churning that we are living through is bringing us more changes, faster than we are used, and it is easy to see this as a problem. But if we remember the opportunities that have come from the successful transitions of our past then we can learn to see each new change and transition as an opportunity too. 

The more we develop the skills that ease us through the transitions, the more we can use each challenge we face as another opportunity to become clearer about what matters most to us and more able to create that in the world.

And that is when transitions become our friend.

Have you experienced any changes or transitions lately? Did you find them easy or difficult to handle? Would you like to navigate them faster next time and use them to become stronger and more valuable?


Adapted from Inner Leadership: a framework and tools for building inspiration in times of change.

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