Every significant change in our lives is accompanied by a psychological and emotional transition. Some of these transitions are small, others are large. And when so much of our world is changing at once, it becomes more important than ever to understand and manage these inner transitions.
Arnold van Gennep discovered transitions during the early 1900s, when he was studying the traditional rites of passage associated with big life changes such as marriage, death, and the shift from childhood into adulthood. He realised that we never go straight from ‘State A’ to ‘State B’. There is always a third, intermediate stage where we have lost our old identity but not yet fully taken on the new one. He called this intermediate phase the ‘Liminal Zone’, from the Latin word limen, which means ‘threshold’.
Getting married provides a good example.
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The Three Stages of Transition
The first stage of transition is called Separation. Here we know that change is coming and we begin to come to terms with the idea that we will take on a new identity. In marriage this is the period of Engagement.
The second phase is the Threshold or liminal zone. This is the Wedding Ceremony itself which, depending on our culture, might last anything from a few minutes to several days. Here we have crossed the threshold and officially become ‘married’. But we aren’t yet fully married in the sense we will be in a few years’ time. The old world has gone but the new world has not yet arrived. So this Threshold or liminal zone marks a period of uncertainty, of creation — it is the chrysalis stage between the caterpillar and the butterfly.
The third stage of transition is called Consolidation. Here we create and assemble the building blocks of what ‘being married’ is really going to mean for us: for who we are, the ways we behave, and for how the world behaves towards us. This is where the work of becoming truly ‘married’ really begins. Traditionally this starts with the Honeymoon.
All of us have been through these stages many times in our lives. Each time we started out at a new job, a new school, got a promotion, or moved home we first had to get used to the idea that our old life was ending (‘Separating’ from the way things used to be). Then we crossed the ‘Threshold’ into the uncertainty of a new beginning. And finally we worked to ‘Consolidate’ and build the next phase of our life.
When we were confident about our inner transitions, the outer changes in our lives happened smoothly and easily. When were we nervous or uncertain about the inner changes to our identity, the outer changes in our lives became more difficult.
This time of massive change means that transitions are happening almost constantly — either for us or for the people around us. So the better we can understand these transitions, the better we will be able to manage them, and the smoother and more successful the changes in our lives will become.
When did you last experience a significant change in your life? Looking back, can you recognise the periods of Separation, Threshold, and Consolidation? Would it be useful for you (or the people around you) to be able to manage this process more smoothly next time?
Adapted from Inner Leadership: a framework and tools for building inspiration in times of change.
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Photo adapted from Walter via StockPholio.net