Choosing your destiny

The word ‘destiny’ means different things to different people. So as part of our journey towards becoming antifragile, it is important to be clear about the meaning we are using here.

Like the word ‘destination’, the word ‘destiny’ looks to the future: to the place that we are heading towards. But its meaning has changed over the years.

Originally, the Latin word destinare meant “to make firm or establish.” This gives us one meaning of the word ‘destiny’: as something that is firm, established, fixed, and unchangeable, ‘pre-destined’.

But just because we set out towards a destination doesn’t automatically mean that we will get there. We might set out for the airport but get caught in traffic. We might plan a holiday but find that a global pandemic forces us to stay home for two years. (Unlikely, I know, but possible.) And so, over time, the meaning of the Latin word destinare changed to reflect this deeper truth. It came to mean, “the action of intending something for a purpose.”

This means that what we really mean when we say that our ‘destination’ is the airport is that we are intending to go to the airport for the purpose of catching a plane. But if the traffic is heavy, we might have to change our plans.

And when we define our ‘destiny’ this way then we give ourselves the flexibility to adapt to changing circumstances. 

In a time of massive change this will be extremely useful.

When people use the word ‘destiny’ to mean something that is fixed, inevitable, and pre-ordained it assumes that their destiny is out of their control. This stops them trying to shape it, which removes their ability to adapt to changing circumstances. And in a time of massive change, this will create problems.

But when we use the word ‘destiny’ to mean “an outcome that we are intending, for a purpose,” then we put ourselves back in control. We give ourselves the extra focus, energy, and enthusiasm that come from knowing the purpose of what we are doing. And if things don’t turn out the way we expected then it’s no big deal — we simply find new ways to achieve the same purpose.

This is the sense in which Inner Leadership uses the word ‘destiny’. 

In this time of churning, this way of thinking is not only extremely useful — it is another step towards becoming antifragile: using change to become stronger.

Have you chosen your destiny: an outcome you intend to create, for a purpose you want to achieve? Would you like to have the extra focus, enthusiasm, and flexibility that this would bring you?


Adapted from Inner Leadership: a framework and tools for building inspiration in times of change.

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