In a time of change it is becoming increasingly important to be able to take decisions without knowing how things are going to turn out.
One way to acquire this skill is by learning from people we admire.
We can do this in three steps.
Step One: Role Models
Choose between one and three people you have never met but whom you admire greatly: role models who have taught you something important even though you never met them. (They might still be alive or they could be people from history.)
For each person write down or (better) discuss with a close friend or partner:
- Who do you admire about this person, even though you never met them?
- What are the values you admire in them?
- What flaws or weaknesses did they or do they have?
- What, despite those flaws, have they achieved that you admire them for?
If you discuss this with someone you trust they will be able to help you draw out and uncover what matters most to you by asking open questions such as: “Why? What do you mean by that? Can you give me an example?”
Step Two: People Who Shaped You
Now choose between one and three friends, mentors, leaders, teachers, or managers who you have known in real life and who taught you something along the way that has helped to shape the person you have become.
Again, either write down or discuss with a close friend or partner:
- Who is the person?
- What did he or she love that you loved them for loving?
- What were their flaws or weaknesses?
- What, despite those flaws, did they achieve that you admire them for?
Step Three: Notice What Matters for You
Now compare your answers. What stands out for you most?
- Noticing what you admire in others shows you what you would like to become. This can help you find a way forward that inspires you.
- Noticing what you think of as flaws and weaknesses not only shows you what you want to avoid — the opposites of those qualities also show you who you want to become.
- Most importantly, realise that even the people we admire most are not perfect. And yet they still achieve something worthwhile. If they can then so can we.
We don’t need to wait to be perfect to start to do what matters most to us. All we need is to know what that is — and begin.
Would you like to become better at taking decisions in times of change?
Who do you most admire? Why? And who could you discuss that with?
Adapted from Inner Leadership: a framework and tools for building inspiration in times of change.
You can sign up to daily posts here.
(And remember: you don’t learn to swim by reading about swimming, you also need to practice.)