The word ‘destiny’ means different things to different people. So as part of our journey towards becoming antifragile, it is important to be clear about the meaning we are using here.
Like the word ‘destination’, the word ‘destiny’ looks to the future: to the place that we are heading towards. But over the years the meaning of the word has changed.
Originally, the Latin word destinare meant “to make firm or establish.” This gives us one meaning of the word ‘destiny’: as something that is fixed, established, ‘pre-destined’.
But just because we set out for a destination doesn’t necessarily mean that we will get there. We might set out for the airport but get stuck in traffic. We might book a much-needed holiday but find that a global pandemic forces us to stay home for two years. And to reflect this deeper truth, the meaning of the Latin word destinare changed. It came to mean “the action of intending something for a purpose.”
So what we really mean when we say that our ‘destination’ is the airport is that we are intending to go to the airport for the purpose of catching a plane. And if the traffic is heavy and we get delayed then we might have to change our plans. Or if we book a trip to a holiday destination then we are intending to go there for the purpose of relaxing — and if a global pandemic happens then we might have to change our plans.
And if we define our own ‘destiny’ this way then we give ourselves the flexibility to adapt to changing circumstances. In a time of massive change, this will be invaluable.
When people use the word ‘destiny’ to mean something that is fixed and inevitable then they are assuming that their destiny is out of their control. This stops them trying to shape it, which removes their ability to adapt to changing circumstances. In a time of global change this will create problems.
But when we use the word ‘destiny’ to mean “an outcome that we are intending, for a purpose,” and we define what that purpose is, then we put ourselves back in control. We give ourselves the extra focus, energy, and enthusiasm that come from knowing the purpose behind why we are taking the action. And if things don’t turn out in the way we expected then it’s no big deal — we simply find new ways to achieve the same purpose.
This is the sense in which Inner Leadership uses the word ‘destiny’. Our destiny is the place we are intending to go to, the person we are intending to become, for our intended purpose in life. And if the world changes, then we can change with it.
In this time of churning, defining our destiny this way is yet another step towards becoming antifragile: using change to become stronger and more valuable.
Have you chosen your destiny: an outcome you intend to create, for a purpose you want to achieve? Would you like to give yourself the extra inspiration, focus, and flexibility that would come from doing so?
Adapted from Inner Leadership: a framework and tools for building inspiration in times of change.
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