Sigmund Freud thought that the memories of bad things that happened to us in our past (especially during childhood) could sometimes return to haunt us, messing up our lives.
But for Carl Jung this explanation made no sense. Everything in nature, he reasoned, is a part of evolution. So if this type of thing happens so often, to so many people (as it undoubtedly does) then it must bring some kind of evolutionary benefit.
What could that be?
Jung realised that different people get upset about different things. An event that upsets one person might have no effect on someone else. And different people will often interpret the same event in different ways.
This means that, in a sense, we each choose the events we get upset about and what we imagine those events mean.
This means that whatever upsets us most is a gift of gold.
Because in a world filled with messages telling us who we should be — what we should buy, who we should vote for, how we should live, and so on — the things that upset us most deeply show us what we care about the most. Out of everything that is happening around us, these are the things that affect us most.
The things that trigger us are reminders. They remind us of our priorities. No matter what anybody else might say we should care about or ignore, they show us what we really do care about most. They show us who we are. They show us who we most want to become: the opposite of whatever has happened.
And as Carl Jung then said,
“I am not what happened to me I am what I choose to become.”
What seemed like a ‘problem’ to Freud is actually an opportunity: another signpost pointing us towards what will most inspire us to move through this time of change with passion, energy, and enthusiasm.
And when we understand this, then we can start to transform our emotions to help us achieve what matters most to us.
All this is another step to becoming antifragile: using the changes around us to make us stronger and more valuable.
Can you think of something that has upset or enraged you recently? Did it paralyse you? Or did it inspire you with energy and enthusiasm to do what you can, with others, to build a world that is the opposite of that?
Inner Leadership is a framework and a set of tools for building inspiration in a time of change.
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(And remember: you can’t learn to swim just by reading about swimming, you also need to do the practice.)