Overcoming fear

Even when we know how to find the ten types of opportunity that exist in any situation, there are still three main reasons why we might find ourselves getting stuck.

The first is overthinking. The second is not knowing who we want to become. And the third is simply that we feel afraid.

In this time of change, all ways forward are now unpredictable. All ways forward are likely to be difficult. And so it is not surprising if all ways forward might seem a little scary.

What can we do about this?

One standard coaching response to fear is to remember that courage is not the absence of fear, it is feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Another is to scale back your plans. And a third is to ask yourself, “What is the worst that could happen?” Then create a plan to deal with that ‘worst thing’ and your downside is covered.

If any of these are enough for you then go with that.

But there is a more creative response.

Nelson Mandela talked about it in his inaugural speech as the first black president of South Africa. Quoting Marianne Williamson, he said:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”

Our playing small does not serve the world, it does not serve the people around us, and most of all it does not serve us.

As Nelson Mandela also said:

“There is no passion to be found… in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”

If we take the time to find our purpose and values then we gain more focus, energy, and adaptability. And we also now know that, no matter what might be happening around us, this is what has meaning for us.

And then we can either choose to ignore it and take what seems like the easy option. Or we can find an issue (no matter how ‘large’ or how ‘small’) that aligns with our purpose and values and start to work on it. Use the extra energy and joy this brings to inspire ourselves and others to do what needs to be done. Complete it and then repeat.

When we align ourselves with what we care most about, we bring the most value to the world, we create the world as we want it to be, we gain the most energy and enthusiasm to succeed, and we fully express the best version of ourselves in the world. That, surely, is what life is for?

So consider your options and compare the upsides and downsides. Find the ‘Goldilocks Option’ that is “just right” for you now and do it. Then repeat.

Because when everything is changing, the biggest risk of all comes from staying still.

And as Nelson Mandela and Marianne Williamson also said:

“As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Right now, all ways forward are likely to be risky and difficult. Are you heading in a direction that excites and enthuses you and the people around you as much as you would like?

Adapted from Inner Leadership: a framework and tools for building inspiration in times of change.

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(And remember: you don’t learn to swim by reading about swimming, you also need to practice.)

Photo By Stephanie Carter via StockPholio.net

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