Many years ago, a man set off with his son to walk to market. They took their donkey with them and on the way they passed through several villages.
At the first village the people laughed at them. “You are so stupid”, they said, “one of you should ride the donkey.” That seemed like a good idea, so the son got on the donkey and on they walked.
Then they came to the second village. “How terrible”, the villagers called out, “forcing an old man to walk while the young man takes it easy. The old man should ride!” So the father and son swapped places.
At the next village they again found themselves the object of ridicule. “Idiots!” the people cried. “You should both ride the donkey!” So they did.
And at the next village the people threw stones: “You should be ashamed of yourselves!” they shouted, “crushing that poor animal! You should be carrying the donkey, not the other way around!”
You can probably see where this is going. At the next village the people told them they should stop carrying the donkey and let it walk to the market. So they did.
A ‘should’ is a rule of thumb: a principle for behaviour that used to make sense in the past but might not make sense any more.
And different people will always tell you that you should do different things and you will never be able to satisfy them all.
So when so much change is happening all around us, doesn’t it make sense, instead, to do what is right for you — no matter what anyone else thinks?
How often do you hear the people around you say, “You should…” without really explaining why? How often do you do the same? In a time of so much change, does it make sense to check whether these ‘shoulds’ still apply and get clearer on what you really want instead?
Adapted from Inner Leadership: a framework and tools for building inspiration in times of change.
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