Even negative feedback is an opportunity

As you work to bring your passion to the world, people will inevitably tell you that you’re doing it wrong.

They’ll say you’re too early or too late, too simple or too complicated, too shallow, too deep, doing it in the wrong way, in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Listen to them and thank them.

And then remember that we are all human becomings and it has taken you your whole life to come to the understanding you have now, just as it has taken them their whole life to come to theirs.

Sthe fact that they are bringing you what seems like negative feedback might mean one of four things:

  1. They are far ahead of you in the way they understand the world, so the changes you suggest are no longer relevant for them.
    (This likely means their feedback is encouraging you to move forward faster but they’re not articulating it very clearly. You might ask them to explain further.)
  2. They are far behind you and not yet ready to understand the changes you are suggesting.
    (In which case, what would it take for them to catch up with you, how much effort would that take from you, and is it a priority for you to make that effort?)
  3. They are exactly the people you are trying to influence but they are not understanding the way you are communicating your vision in the way you want them to.
    (So listen to them, understand their point of view, learn from them, and adapt your message to make it more relevant to the way they see the world.)
  4. They are simply on a different path, heading towards a different purpose with different values.
    (So your work will never be relevant for them.)

When someone brings you what seems like negative feedback:

  • Listen to them, thank them, and make sure you’ve understood them correctly
  • Ask yourself: does this change my priorities, or does it change the route I take to reach those priorities?
  • And then thank them and do it anyway, either the same as before or better

What seems like negative feedback is always an opportunity for you either to refine and improve your message or to stop wasting time and move on.

Has anyone given you what seemed like negative feedback recently? Is it an opportunity for you to improve your understanding or the way you are communicating, or to put your energy and resources elsewhere?

Adapted from Inner Leadership: a framework and tools for building inspiration in times of change.

You can sign up to daily posts here.

You can buy the book here and the workbook here.

(And remember: you don’t learn to swim by reading about swimming, you also need to practice.)

Photo by Pedro Ribeiro Simões via StockPholio.net

2 Replies to “Even negative feedback is an opportunity”

  1. Well said – dealing positively with one own’s emotions when getting “negative” feedback is key to proceed on the path oneself has envisioned to go. Perhaps some pivoting, reframing, or new wording will be necessary. Nevertheless we are all born to learn a life long.

    • Thanks Ralf, I’m glad you found it useful.
      The reframing you talk about is explicitly covered in Chapter 2 of inner leadership.
      And as you also say, knowing our Purpose clearly provides a ‘lighthouse’ that we can use to orient ourselves in the deepest storm. This is Chapter 5.

      With just those two tools then life long learning suddenly becomes a lot easier 🙂

Leave a Reply