How transitions can become your friend

Transitions are the psychological and emotional shifts that accompany the major changes in our lives.

Because they are associated with change they sometimes seem difficult. But they become easier when we realise that our whole life has been a series of transitions.

The first transition happened on the day that we were born. Our mother’s contractions formed the first, ‘Separation’ phase. This prepared us for the changes that were coming. Then, during the birth, we crossed the Threshold into the strange new world. And in the first few days of life, we Consolidated our transition by learning the incredible new skills of breathing, eating, seeing, and hearing. Most incredibly of all, we accomplished all of this seamlessly even though we had no conscious understanding or control over any of it. And by successfully completing this transition and change we gained the opportunity to live our entire lives.

Those lives then became a succession of changes and transitions: learning to feed and dress ourselves; going to school; learning to drive; getting our first job. All these things were difficult at first but successfully moving through each transition brought us new confidence and new opportunities.

This time of churning is bringing us more changes and transitions than we have been used to. It is east to see that as a problem.

With the right attitude we can learn to see it as an opportunity:

  • to learn the skills that will ease us through transition faster and more seamlessly
  • to develop a deeper understanding of and connection with ourselves
  • to develop new skills and capabilities for inspiring ourselves and others to do what matters most to us

This is the final step to becoming antifragile. When we achieve this then every change and transition we experience either confirms or refines what we know about what matters most to us and improves our ability to create that. Then transitions truly do become our friend.

Have you experienced any changes or transitions lately? Did you find them difficult? Would you like to have known how to navigate them faster and use them to your advantage?


Adapted from Inner Leadership: a framework and tools for building inspiration in times of change.

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Photo By Thomas via StockPholio.net

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