In this time of massive change it is easy to become overwhelmed by too much information, by lack of information, or by fear or not knowing what you ought to do. At times like this it is easy to become stuck.
One way to avoid this is by becoming better at taking decisions based on little information and without knowing how things are going to turn out.
And one way to achieve that is by learning from the people we admire.
To do this we need to take three simple steps.
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Step One: Identify People You Admire
Choose one to three people you have never met but whom you admire greatly: role models who taught you something important even though you never met them. They might be people from history or they might still be alive.
For each person write down or (better still) discuss with a friend, colleague, or partner:
- Who is the person?
- What are the values you admire in them?
- What flaws or weaknesses did they have or do they have?
- What, despite those flaws, have they achieved that you admire them for?
Discussing this with someone you trust will enable them to help you draw out a deeper understanding of what matters most to you by asking open questions* such as “Why?” “What do you mean by that?” “Can you give me an example?”
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Step Two: Identify People Who Have Helped to Shape You
Next, choose between one and three friends, mentors, leaders, or teachers who you have known in real life and who have taught you something important along the way: something that has helped to make you the person you are today.
Again, either write down or discuss with a close friend or partner:
- Who is the person?
- What did he or she love that you loved them for loving?
- What were their flaws or weaknesses?
- What, despite those flaws, did they achieve that you admire them for?
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Step Three: Compare, Contrast, and Focus
Now compare your answers. What stands out as important for you?
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Your answers to these questions will show you four things.
First, what you value and admire most in others reveals what you value most for yourself: your values and priorities. What you admire in others shows you the type of person you want to become. And seeing that more clearly can help you find a way forward that will inspire you to make it happen.
Second, what you think of as flaws and weaknesses in other people shows you what you want to avoid in yourself. So if you write down the opposites of these flaws and weakness then that again helps to reveal the type of person you want to become.
Third, comparing the accomplishments of the people you most admire deepens your understanding of the kind of outcomes you would most like to be part of creating.
And fourth, and probably most important, your answers to these questions shows that even the people you most admire are not perfect. They had flaws. But they still achieved outcomes that you think are important. And if they could do it, so can you. You don’t need to wait to be perfect before you start working to create the results that matter most to you. You just need to be clearer about what those things are — and then inspire yourself to begin.
Knowing more clearly who you most admire and why will improve your ability to take decisions when you have little information and don’t know how things are going to turn out. It will inspire you a little more to choose the best way forward for you. And all this is yet another step toward becoming antifragile.
Who are the people you admire most? Why? Who could you discuss that with?
* Open questions are questions that don’t limit or define the range of possible answers. Closed questions limit the possible responses. For example, “Was it red or green?” is a closed question. “What colour was it?” is a partly-open question. “Did it have a particular colour?” is a truly open question.
Adapted from Inner Leadership: a framework and tools for building inspiration in times of change.
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