Transforming unwanted emotions into something more useful

A time of change is bound to sometimes bring us unwanted emotions: such as anger, frustration, fear, and sadness. When this happens, our first response can often be to want these emotions to go away. But if we pause for a moment, and remember that every problem is an opportunity, we can learn to transform these unwanted emotions into something more useful.

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Anger and frustration can become Passion and Determination:
Anger and frustration show us what we care about most — we want the opposite of what has happened.
If we pause and realise this then we can use the situation to get clearer about what we want instead. Then we can look for new ways to achieve that.
In this way we can transform our anger into clarity, focus, passion, and determination to create what we care most about. We can shift from frustration (which is anger combined with a sense of powerlessness) to passion and determination simply to do what we can.

Fear can become Courage:
Fear comes from imagining something that hasn’t happened yet: it is ‘False Evidence Appearing Real‘. Courage isn’t an absence of fear: it is feeling the fear and taking action anyway.
So if we notice our fear we can ask ourselves what we are afraid of.
Then we can identify “What is the worst that could happen?” and come up with a plan to deal with that. Now our worst case scenario is covered.
Then we can get clear on the other options we might want instead and choose the way forward that inspires us most. And then we can manage the risks and build the inspiration, determination, and enthusiasm that will move us forward despite our fear.
This puts us back in control. We make the choices.
And it transforms the meaning of the word Fear from ‘False Evidence Appearing Real’ to ‘Face Everything And Rise’.

Sadness can be turned into Aliveness and Joy:
Sadness is a sign that we have lost something important to us. The opposite of sadness is aliveness and joy.
So if we ask ourselves what we feel sad about then we can decide to rebuild it, maybe even better than before. And if we ask ourselves when we felt most alive and joyful then we can find our purpose and values.
Once we have this clarity then we can look for new ways to put it into practice.
Then we can let go of looking back at what we have lost and shift our focus instead to creating what we most want.
We can transform our feelings of loss into inspiration to build whatever we care about most.
In this way we can turn sadness into joy, exhilaration, and flow.

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The unwanted emotions we are bound to sometimes feel during this time of change are just temporary. We weren’t feeling them a month ago and we won’t be feeling them a month from now. They are not truth. They are just signals and signposts that show us what we care about most. And if we transform them then we can use them to build energy and enthusiasm to create the world we most want.

Noticing these signals and signposts, and then transforming them, are two more steps towards becoming antifragile.

Have you or the people around you been feeling any unwanted emotions lately? Would it be useful to transform these emotions into the focus and inspiration that will lead you towards wherever you most want to be?


Adapted from Inner Leadership: a framework and tools for building inspiration in times of change.

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Photo By keith ellwood via StockPholio.net

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