Transitions are the psychological and emotional shifts that accompany the changes in our lives.
Because they are associated with change, these transitions can often seem difficult. But they become easier to handle when we realise that our whole life has been a series of transitions — and each one has helped us grow.
The first transition happened on the day that we were born. Our mother’s contractions formed the ‘Separation’ phase that prepared us for the changes that were coming. Then, during the birth, we crossed the Threshold into a strange new world. And in the first few days of life, we Consolidated our transition by learning the incredible new skills of breathing, hearing, seeing, and eating. Most incredible of all, we did all these things without consciously controlling any of them.
Since then, our lives have been a near-constant stream of changes and transitions: learning to feed ourselves; learning to dress ourselves; going to school; riding a bike; learning to drive; getting our first job; getting our first promotion; getting our second job. All these things seemed difficult at first. But as we succeeded at each change and processed the transition that came with it, so we gained new clarity about what mattered most to us, new skills for achieving that in the world, and new confidence in our abilities to do so.
This time of churning that we are living through is bringing us more changes than we are used to, faster than we are used to. But if we remember the skills and opportunities that have come out of the transitions we made in the past then we can learn to see each new change and transition as an opportunity: to become clearer about what matters most to us and more able to achieve that in the world.
And when we do this, then each transition will truly become our friend: another step along the path to knowing who we most want to become and becoming that person.
Have you experienced any changes or transitions lately? Did you find them easy or difficult to handle? Would you like to navigate them faster next time and use them to become stronger and more valuable?
Adapted from Inner Leadership: a framework and tools for building inspiration in times of change.
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