This time of change that we are living through is bound to sometimes bring us unwanted emotions such as anger, frustration, sadness, or fear.
When this happens, our first response can often be to want these feelings to go away. But if we pause for a moment, and remember that every problem is an opportunity, then we can learn to transform these unwanted feelings into something more useful.
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Anger and frustration can become Passion and Determination:
Anger and frustration show us what we care about — we want the opposite of whatever we are angry about. If we pause to realise this then we can use the situation to get clearer about what it is we want instead.
Then we can look for new ways to achieve that.
In this way we can transform our anger into clarity, passion, and determination to create what we care most about in the world. We can shift from frustration (which is anger combined with a sense of powerlessness) to passion and determination to do what we can to create what matters most.
“I am feeling angry and frustrated about this” becomes “I care very much about this and I am going to find a way to do something about it.”
Fear can become Courage:
Fear comes when we imagine something that hasn’t happened yet: it stands for ‘False Evidence Appearing Real‘. And yet courage isn’t the absence of fear, it is feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
So if we notice our fear then we can ask ourselves what we are afraid of.
Then if we identify “What is the worst that could happen?” we can create a plan to deal with that: now our worst case scenario is covered.
Then we can get clear on what other ways forward we prefer instead and choose the one that inspires us most.
And then we can manage the risks and build the inspiration and determination that will move us forward despite our fear.
All of this then puts us back in control.
And it transforms the meaning of the word Fear from ‘False Evidence Appearing Real’ to ‘Face Everything And Rise’. It converts fear into clarity and courage.
“I feel afraid” becomes “I feel afraid but if the worst comes to the worst then I know I will do this, and in the meantime I am going to Face Everything And Rise, to create what I want most instead.”
Sadness can be turned into Aliveness and Joy:
Sadness is a sign that we have lost something important to us. The opposite of sadness is aliveness and joy.
So if we ask ourselves what we feel sad about losing then we can make the choice to rebuild it — maybe better than before.
Once we have this clarity, then we can look for new ways to put it into practice. We can let go of looking back at what we have lost and shift our focus to looking forward to create what we most want instead.
In this way, we can transform our feelings of loss into inspiration. We can turn sadness into exhilaration, flow, and joy.
“I feel sad” becomes “I feel sad about losing that, because it was really important to me, and because I had it once, I know that I can rebuild it, better than before.
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The unwanted emotions we are bound to feel sometimes during this time of change are just temporary. We weren’t feeling them a week ago and we won’t be feeling them a week from today. They are not truth, they are simply signposts that show us what we care about. And if we choose to use these signs, then we can build the clarity, courage, and inspiration to build what we want most in the world.
All this is yet another step towards becoming antifragile.
Have you or the people around you been feeling any unwanted emotions lately? Would it be useful to be able to transform them into the clarity, courage, and inspiration that will shift you towards where you most want to be?
Adapted from The Churning, Inner Leadership: a framework and a set of tools for building inspiration in a time of change.
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