A time of change is bound to bring us unwanted emotions such as anger, frustration, sadness, and fear.
Our first response to these can often be to want these emotions to go away. But if we pause for a moment, and remember that every problem is an opportunity, we can learn to transform these unwanted emotions into something more useful.
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Anger and frustration can become Passion and Determination:
Anger and frustration show us what we care about — we want the opposite of what has happened.
If we pause to realise this then we can use the situation to get clearer about what precisely we want instead. And then we can look for new ways to achieve that.
In this way we can transform our anger into clarity, passion, and determination to create whatever we care about most in the world. We can shift from frustration (which is anger combined with a sense of powerlessness) to passion and determination to do what we can to create what matters most to us.
Fear can become Courage:
Fear comes from imagining something that hasn’t happened yet: it is ‘False Evidence Appearing Real‘. And courage isn’t the absence of fear: it is feeling the fear and taking action anyway.
So if we notice our fear then we can ask ourselves what we are afraid of.
Then if we identify “What is the worst that could happen?” and come up with a plan to deal with that then our worst case scenario is covered.
Now we can get clear on what other ways forward we would prefer instead and choose the option that inspires us most.
Then we can manage the risks and build the inspiration, determination, and enthusiasm that will move us forward despite our fear.
All this puts us back in control.
And it transforms the meaning of the word Fear from ‘False Evidence Appearing Real’ to ‘Face Everything And Rise’. Fear has become clarity and courage, to do what we can.
Sadness can be turned into Aliveness and Joy:
Sadness is a sign that we have lost something important to us. The opposite of sadness is aliveness and joy.
So if we ask ourselves what we feel sad about losing then we can make the choice to rebuild it, maybe better than before. And if we ask ourselves when we felt most alive and joyful then we can find our purpose and our values.
Once we have this clarity we can look for new ways to put it into practice. We can let go of looking back at what we have lost and shift our focus to looking forward to creating what we want most instead.
We can transform our feelings of loss into inspiration to do what we can to build what we most want.
In this way we can turn sadness into exhilaration, joy, and flow.
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The unwanted emotions we are bound to sometimes feel during this time of change are just temporary. We weren’t feeling them a week ago and we won’t be feeling them a week from now. They are not truth. They are signposts that show us what matters most to us. And we can use them to build the clarity, courage, and enthusiasm to do what we can to create what we most want.
All this is another step to becoming antifragile.
Have you or the people around you been feeling any unwanted emotions lately? Would it be useful to transform them into the clarity, courage, and inspiration that will lead you towards where you most want to be?
Adapted from Inner Leadership: a framework and tools for building inspiration in times of change.
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