A time of change is almost bound to bring us unwanted emotions such as anger, frustration, sadness, or fear.
When this happens, our first response can often be to want these feelings to go away. But if we pause for a moment, and remember that every problem is an opportunity, we can learn to transform these unwanted feelings into something more useful.
.
Anger and frustration can become Passion and Determination:
Anger and frustration show us what we care about — we want the opposite of whatever we are angry about. If we pause to realise this then we can use the situation to get clearer about what it is we want instead.
Then we can look for new ways to achieve that.
In this way we can transform our anger into clarity, passion, and determination to create what we care most about in the world. We can shift from frustration (which is anger combined with a sense of powerlessness) to passion and determination to do what we can to create what matters most.
Fear can become Courage:
Fear comes from imagining something that hasn’t happened yet: it is ‘False Evidence Appearing Real‘. And courage isn’t the absence of fear, it is feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
So if we notice our fear then we can ask ourselves what we are afraid of.
Then if we identify “What is the worst that could happen?” and create a plan to deal with that then our worst case scenario is covered.
Then we can get clear on what other ways forward we prefer instead and choose the one that inspires us most.
And then we can manage the risks and build the inspiration and determination that will move us forward despite our fear.
All of this then puts us back in control.
And it transforms the meaning of the word Fear from ‘False Evidence Appearing Real’ to ‘Face Everything And Rise’. It converts fear into clarity and courage.
Sadness can be turned into Aliveness and Joy:
Sadness is a sign that we have lost something important to us. The opposite of sadness is aliveness and joy.
If we ask ourselves what we feel sad about losing then we can make the choice to rebuild it — maybe better than before.
Once we have this clarity, then we can look for new ways to put it into practice. We can let go of looking back at what we have lost and shift our focus instead to looking forward to create what we most want instead.
In this way, we can transform our feelings of loss into inspiration. We can turn sadness into exhilaration, flow, and joy.
.
The unwanted emotions we are bound to sometimes feel during this time of change are just temporary. We weren’t feeling them a week ago and we won’t be feeling them a week from now. They are not truth, they are simply signposts that show us what we care about. And if we choose to use these signs, we can build the clarity, courage, and inspiration to build what we want most.
All of this is yet another step to becoming antifragile.
Have you or the people around you been feeling any unwanted emotions lately? Would it be useful to be able to transform them into the clarity, courage, and inspiration that will shift you towards where you most want to be?
Adapted from The Churning, Inner Leadership: a framework and a set of tools for building inspiration in a time of change.
You can sign up to daily posts here.
You can buy the book here and the workbook here.
(And remember: you can’t learn to swim just by reading about swimming, you also need to do the practice.)
Photo By keith ellwood via StockPholio.net